God offers me a life brimming with His fullness when I follow Him. But somehow I still struggle with letting go of one thing, that when compared to His goodness and power is so small: fundraising. 

Such a time of learning right now. Thankful for my Teacher. 

Fundraising is one of those things that I don't really like to dwell on when I'm thinking about my call to missions. It's one of those things that I feel like would be so much easier if it just wasn't there. God didn't intend for this to be easy or for me to rely on myself, though. Because it's not about me anyway.  (When I have fears, it's me making it about me, focusing on the situation and not my Creator.) It is about displaying God's worth, in everything.  If I could do it all myself then what would be the point? 

I can use this time of fundraising as an opportunity to dig deeper and closer in my relationship with Jesus and to have complete reliance on His faithfulness and promises. I'm being reminded more and more from my friends and Scripture that God's timing is perfect. He is never late. This should still my heart completely right? 

I'm learning that fundraising is an opportunity to further display God's glory and faithfulness. It is a chance to allow others to wonder at His provision and goodness and His hand in the matter. It is a chance for those who have a heart for missions but can't be on the field to take part and partner in these journeys. It can bring peace, a deep reliance in His truths.

Oh Lord, that I might revel in Your presence and divine timing through this.  That You might break me of my firm grip of control and bring me to my knees before You, so that I can only look at You.  That You might open my fear-clenched hands to allow Your grace and peace to fill in.  That I might have genuine trust in Your promises to us.

This life of following Jesus isn't supposed to be comfortable- it definitely isn't what is intended for us.  This verse below just about sums it up, in a not-so-gentle kind of way,but maybe that's the best, ya know?

"Don't think I've come to make life cozy.I've come to cut - make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother-in-law - cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God." Matthew 10-28 MSG

That is my prayer- that God might cut ALL that is comfortable out of my life so He can free me for Him.  This includes my comfort zone worries that I rationalize to be okay. (definitely not okay).  All that is comfortable, gone, for you, sweet Jesus! 

So anyway,in addition to babysitting, selling a few things that I've made, and writing support letters, I will be selling T-shirts made by Fund the Nations (absolutely amazing company!!) in order to fundraise for this Immersion trip!  I absolutely love how FTN made them and I hope y'all do too!  (and they are just $20!)  Please please let me know if you are interested!