for i am Yours

Hello everyone! So thrilled to be making my first blog post with Immersion! I am soaking up the words of everyone's blogs and I can't wait to meet my new teammates who seem like the most amazing people.

I'm not really sure where to start, but just to say I am so thankful God has led me to this. I can't imagine not doing this now and it's crazy to think that God knew this all along and was just waiting for me to finally look to Him. My struggles between deciding between a few colleges, then finding peace with the one I chose, then being changed by South Africa…it was all God- ordained. I got back from South Africa on March 23rd, and decided officially to take a gap year two weeks later. I found Immersion and was accepted a few weeks after that by mid-April. I'm still astounded. My heart gets so full when I think about how He led me to this so quickly and directly. Why me? I don't deserve it at all. God somehow still wanted me to do this. He wants me. Always, fully, wholly. Even when I'm not equipped, or the best, or maybe even where I should be spiritually. He wanted me for this, chose me. and I don't deserve it, at all. 

Utterly amazed at this grace. 

I can't wait to see where He takes me on this journey and what he has in store for me, for all of us!

I've been realizing more and more lately that I want more. More than the surface, than the mundane, than what society expects. I want to live completely in Jesus, all the time. Trusting Him in everything. Fully alive in Him! There's this verse I love in the Message version of the Bible in Ephesians 1- "-to make you intelligent and discerning in knowing him personally, your eyes focused and clear, so that you can see exactly what it is he is calling you to do, grasp the immensity of this glorious way of life he has for his followers, oh, the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him…"

Y'all. Wow. The "glorious way of life he has for his followers". That's for us as his followers!! It doesn't always mean easy or cozy or fun. But it will be glorious, with Him. 

This doesn't mean I'm not scared, because I am. I'm terrified at the thought of raising this $11,900. That's a lot of money in such a short time. I am trying to choose to trust God instead, because fear is not of God. This reliance is so hard for me, but if I could do it on my own then what would the point be? I am confident in God's provisions and faithfulness. 

Lastly, there's this song by Hillsong United that is my favorite right now called Oceans. I'm making it my song for this trip- it speaks so much of my heart and longings right now. Here are the lyrics: 

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

 

Praying for all of my teammates and would love any prayers as well. I attached the video for the song Oceans!